Crazy Mixed up Heart

Discovering, maybe a bit late in life, that I get all mushy and retrospective at 'that time of the month'. Any other time of the month I can be that career woman, gung ho, doesn't have emotions, just does the job and moves on. Nope.. I have to spend some time reflecting every 28 days on life and all that shit.
What did I contemplate this round, well.. I've been reflecting on 'why does it seem that I wear a LOSER APPLY HERE sign on my forehead?' Do I look like I care? Do I look that accepting of strange and abhorrent behavior? Do I look like a sugar mamma? I dunno what I look like to others, but I know that the guys I fall for... don't like me that way.. maybe they think I'm that LOSER I see in guys I cannot conceive as being without clothing! GAG!

Suffice it to say.. the one man walking this planet that I would dearly love to spend the rest of my life with, will most likely never see me as the woman he would want around for the rest of his life. Though I'm sure he deludes himself into thinking he can have me as friend and marry some slut (cause ya know I don't care who she is.. if she's not me she's a slut), this guy's got another thing coming.

How can I remain friends with a guy who has my heart and know that this friendship has a timer ticking fast towards an end? And end of an era! Dunno... cause I have a stupid heart I guess. I like a guy who doesn't like me that way back. What can I say. I don't like the guys who like me.. what can I say? That life is a GREAT DISAPPOINTMENT.. that's what it is. I won't compromise my heart... I won't settle for second best or third.. or less... so I guess I'm going to be that cat woman.

This is how cat women are born... Love gone ALL WRONG!

---Cym